This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
