i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
