Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I touched a dick in church today
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
