I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize