Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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