When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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