Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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