She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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