What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
