Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
