we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I would fuck him just for his dog
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
