I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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