Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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