i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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