You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
