I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
