spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
