my phone needs a breathalizer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
