Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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