Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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