I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize