i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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