i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This is my gift to your gina
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
