I think I am morally bankrupt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
