know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
