I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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