I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
