Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
