You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
