the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
