so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
