do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
