Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize