It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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