can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
