ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
