Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
