Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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