White coat. Heels.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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