My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
