yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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