I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
