honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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