Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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