Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
