he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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