I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When are your genitals available?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
