we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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