she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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