the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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