That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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