how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
