So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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