so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
