Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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