guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
