How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
