:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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