just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
