apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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