well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
