He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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