I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
