can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
