Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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