what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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