good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
