I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
