There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
