I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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