Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize